What Getting Cheated On Actually Feels Like & How To Handle It

To know what getting cheating on feels like is to know what betrayal feels like. In this article I will explain what getting cheating on feels like and how to handle it moving forward.

Getting cheated on is a traumatic and such an ashy thing to experience. If only I had something clever or funny to say about infidelity, but for once I’m out of jokes. Having someone you truly care about betray your trust is no laughing matter. If you’re reading this article because you’ve been cheated on then let me remind you that you were able to live before you met that person and you will survive after them. If you’re reading this just because then grab your wine and enjoy the ride. 

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What Getting Cheated On Actually Feels Like and How To Handle It: How Common is Cheating in a Relationship?

Did your parents every site you down and tell you the real tea on what getting cheated on is like? If you actually had that cautionary conversation with one of your parents growing up, then be thankful because I’ve come to the realization that most of us 20-somethings never did. Until it happened to me everything I knew about cheating came from lifetime shows and 90’s movies where clothes are set on fire and the man usually gets slapped!

The older I get the more I realize how common cheating in relationships actually is. It’s sad but honestly I’m actually surprised when I hear about someone’s relationship ending and infidelity wasn’t the cause. I’ve had conversations with multiple women and men about their views on cheating over the years. The details on their views are different per person, but there are a lot of similarities I’ve realized overall. 

What Getting Cheated On Actually Feels Like & How To Handle It: What it’s Like to Be Cheated On

My first initial feeling about finding out I had been cheated on was pure shock. It’s honestly embarrassing to admit that someone at some point thought so little of me that they were able to do this. Unfortunately, in my case it was on more than one occasion. In my experience getting cheated on was definitely the worst thing to experience throughout our entire relationship.

When I found out I had been cheated on, I went through a multitude of different emotions all at once. I felt angry, sad, embarrassed, betrayed, and obviously heartbroken. By some miracle, I managed to not set anything on fire like all those movies trained me to do. I just remember playing the same sad songs on repeat and ugly crying entirely too much.

What none of those movies prepared me for was the wave of trust issues and insecurities that would follow. I spent months in my early twenties feeling like I would never be enough. Not thin enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not thick enough. Not light enough. I truly felt as if I was just not enough for anyone I desired to be in a relationship with.

I believed that his actions were somehow partially my fault which of course I now realize is absurd. I went through a period comparing myself with all the other women he made feel special; while he was supposed to only reserve that side of himself for me. Comparing myself to random women and stalking his social media was likely one of the lowest points of the breakup aftermath. At the time, I had never been so infatuated with someone. 

I was convinced I would never find someone to make me feel that way again. I started to believe that iniquitous voice in my head that was telling me that he was the only person who would ever be willing to “deal with me.” After I ended our relationship, I constantly battled my heart with my logic on how I should move on after being cheated on.

 Logically, I eventually realized there is nothing I could have done to prevent what he did. I accepted he did not deserve any place in my life again. However, in my heart, I missed my best friend whom I have known for years. I missed the person to do everything with and who I couldn’t wait to tell everything to. It took time, but I promise things did get better Lovelies.

What Getting Cheated On Actually Feels Like & How To Handle It: How to Move on From After Being Cheated On

I wish someone could have convinced me that everything I was feeling would actually come to a halt eventually. The best piece of advice I can give you is to end all contact with that person for at least for awhile. I understand this may not be possible for everyone depending on your circumstances.

Even if you have to communicate with them you need to set boundaries. You can handle this situation with a lot more peace of mind when you aren’t creeping on your ex’s social media pages. I don’t know your ex, but I can almost promise you there is nothing on their page that will make you feel better. Yes I want all of my Lovelies to be happy and know they’re worth a healthy, happy, Pinterest worthy relationship. But don’t rush your sad stage because it’s only going to be emotional vomit later and no one wants that.

Watch all the sad movies your heart desires and sing as loud as possible throughout your home. Do not allow yourself for even a moment to question your worth based on the actions of others. His ignorance on art doesn’t change the fact that your heart is a masterpiece that is meant to be treasured.

Use this time to focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Try to keep yourself busy with positive and productive activities to fill your new free time. For most people, having time too much time to overthink will only make you want to take a bite of romaine lettuce. (it’s currently on recall here) Spend time with your loved ones, have fun redecorating your space, or maybe read a new book. But please if nothing else… leave your hair alone! Don’t forget to share this post and leave me a comment below.

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